kjata: (kissing this and that of you)
I think I'm going to try for the rest of October to try to just... disconnect from the news cycle? Because it's from immediate waking until I pass out, all this horrific stuff, and I'm just not getting anything done other than processing it.

Which, of course, is what 45 wants people to do-- put their heads down and endure, not rise up and give voice to all that is wrong, but still. For my own sanity, and for my nonexistent wordcount that cannot stand, I need to disengage here.

So, uh. I'll post on days I've written to record the count, and might tweet in the dead of night when the RTs of 45's latest shitstorm aren't so active, and otherwise will just spend the month getting my stories written, to hell with the rest of it.

One bit of goodness today: the stray husky who has been around for a couple years now-- and who hasn't gotten really close because of (obvs) being shot at by my glorious neighbours-- a few hours ago came to me when I called to eat leftover sopa off a plate as I held it. He's so emaciated, and he's so pretty, and he looks exactly like Cagney did, so I started crying and he finished his snack then took half a step back to give me the sideeye. Which is also what Cagney did, so there we go, that does it.

It'll be getting cold soon, so if I can just get him to stick around and crawl into a makeshift doghouse to keep warm and alive then at the very least I'll consider this a success. Ofc ultimately I want to hug him, but one thing about spooked strays who've had to survive on their own for a while? You do things on their time, not your own.
kjata: muppets (only time will tell if i'll allow)
6/9/2017 wordcount: 1,162

All of that on the MCU fill. Gonna work on it more today, get some SPAG check in and finish off the last scene if I can. THEN I CAN POST IT, OHMYGAWD. And then I can move onto the next one, ahahahaha.

Around halfway through Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons. I am like so bored and my hands feel like petrified raptor claws after having to manipulate the controller to get the two kids to work in tandem, but oh well. It's max 5 hours of playtime to 100%, so no use stopping now.

I also got a wee bit further into Arkham Asylum. Soon, I will have saved that damn warden and gotten the cryptographer upgrade so I can backtrack and nab all the yummy Riddler Trophies! SOON, THEY ALL SHALL BE MINE.

(Well, not all-- some of the stuff needs the Ultra Batclaw upgrade, and others need the zipline-- but there's A LOT of stuff behind those zappy doors that I've gotten snarly at already, so I get to still be hyped to have that roadblock removed.)

Okay time to pass out for four hours if I can manage it. THEN BACK TO WRITING, WHEE.
kjata: (these are men whose minds the Dead have)
2/9/2017 wordcount: 514

All of that on an MCU fill. Already sent an apology email out since I'm working so slow on it, but if I can just get my head to cooperate then it'll get done! GRAAAAAAAAH.

Spent most of yesterday sleeping. Gonna spend most of today sleeping too most likely, since I have to keep popping benadryl to not drown in my own snot. Just, yanno, on top of everything else. Swimming through mucous, that's me!

Eyes aren't tracking yet still, so I got to stick with slowish games if I'm going to game at all. Did not play more Walking Dead because I read an article on self-care, and playing Walking Dead is not self-care. It is masochism. It is self-inflicted torture.

So instead, I'm playing Viscera Cleanup Detail again. There is something very soothing about carrying corpse parts around to the incinerator and mopping up puddles of blood.

Today's goals:
+ 2k on the STH fill, hopefully to finish it.
+ 30 minutes in Hexels bare minimum, I've been ignoring that programme lately.
+ idk stay awake for longer than two hours at a time if fucking possible.
kjata: tales from the borderlands (rustically solemn or in rustic laughter)
1/9/2017 words: 831

Not as many words as I hoped to be, but the Kylux RBB pseudo-draft is done so now all I have to do is... write over it to make it an actual story instead of a beat-by-beat outline.

*looks at all the action scenes I wrote in*

Oh. Yay.

Migraine came back with a vengeance, but I have shit to do so I just toddle outside to puke and come back in to keep going with things. It's not my favourite way to spend my days, but I made promises and REFUSE to fail on them, so here we go. My new name is Pukey McPuke, go ahead and fight me about it if you wanna.

Finished Tales from the Borderlands. I am now an official Borderlands fan, that entire experience was great. I checked the fandom on ao3 in hopes that it's small enough for Yuletide aaaaand nope. Another nope of interest: all the fic I've found so far is really really bad. Like. My Immortal kind of bad. Crawling in my skin this onion will not peel... kind of bad.

Between Yuletide and the Cap/Ironman hols exchange, I might rouse myself to write a one-off this winter. Idk what pairing yet, but probably Handsome Jack-focused because the idea of someone so absolutely and genuinely sociopathic to believe that he's the hero of the story while he embarks on self-serving mass murder is really fucking intriguing to me. WHAT THE HELL GOES ON IN THAT MAN'S TINY MIND???

I have the ~Pre Sequel~ game that came in a bundle not too long ago, but I can't play as the Handsome Jack clone unless I buy the add-on. Which is ten bucks when at full price. So gonna have to wait for a sale on that one, cos AHAHAHA NO. It's okay, I started the game with the Athena build and will play through the story with her once my eyes start to track again.

Today's goals:
+ write 2k or more on the first STH fill
+ write 500 words on Kylux RBB proper draft
+ finish episode two of Walking Dead game *grumble*
kjata: tales from the borderlands (ionian white and gold)
had a migraine for something like ten days. maybe more, idk. still hurty, but at this point the pain has receded enough that anything left is probably from lingering tension? again, i don't know. just spitballing here. so long as i don't have what feels like freezing cold claws digging into the back of my head and pulling, i'm good.

that being said, i'm horrendously behind on all my deadlines and yet again am scrambling. so huzzah for all that. if i can't get my shit together by tomorrow, i gotta send out more apology emails, god damn it.

today's goals:
+ finish the hammered outline draft of kylux big bang and send to artist
+ (hopefully) finish the first out of the four STH fills i've been poking at between bouts of excelled propulsion of the contents of my stomach.
+ idk play the final episode of Tales from the Borderlands, it's the only thing i've been able to focus on these last few days without getting ill. and i just finished episode four that had a song by freaking Twin Shadow on the soundtrack, so i'm all starry-eyed right now and full of goodwill for narrative games.

gonna TRY this month to post daily, even if it's just to bemoan my small or lack of wordcount, so let's see how that goes.
kjata: (flaming a coolly bell)
11/6/2017 wordcount: 2,041

all of that on my Kylux reverse bang, because life has been an absolute shitshow since wednesday and I only calmed down enough today to get back to it. and tomorrow will be monday, so i'll be back to freaking the fuck out as soon as the sun's up, most likely.

at least the hockey was good. i was so fucking certain they were going to go into overtime but NOPE, two goals at the end there, like just one wasn't good enough to win, they had to emphasize it. now i can go back to pretending hockey doesn't exist until the next playoffs start, ahahah /bad fan
kjata: (kissing this and that of you)
[community profile] raremaleslashex sign-ups are open. I actually nominated some things this time! Have six potentials to request and seven to offer, so gonna try to whittle that down a bit before I submit a sign-up. (If I don't think better of it between now and then, anyway. Pressure? What pressure???)

Three out of the four winning bidders on my offers for STH have responded with affirmatives so far. Guess this is actually happening, time to do the proverbial loin girding and get ready for some deadline shaking... yanno, other than the current deadlines that are already making me shake ahahaha.

Poking at the Twine Story Engine again. Think I might try to make some short-- like, between 2 to 5k words sort of short-- stories with it and use Marmoset Hexels to illustrate at key points. I need to try something to get some visibility to my original books, and idk the game community has treated me okay thus far. If I offer free gamebooks hosted on my server it might turn into sales. Won't know until I try, anyway!

This is all moot until summer is over and my deadlines are met, so whatever. See how it goes.
kjata: (vidi in ampulla pendere)
24/5/2017 wordcount: 259

...eh. I've done worse. Done better, too, but deffo done a lot worse.

[community profile] treatyoselfcomm exchange is now open for sign-ups. It's designed so that you're writing for yourself, but with a deadline and an assigned cheerleader to get you to finish it. No penalty for dropping out apparently, but I like the concept so I signed up.

This is turning into another Summer of Kylux for me. There will be some Steve/Tony mixed in, but all my deadlines outside of the STH auction are Kylux-related now.

(except for the Not Prime Time fic, but shhhh, not allowed to talk about that one.)
kjata: hellboy (apollo bows to the superior throne;)
No words today cos bleargh, puke, etc etc etc.

deadlines for the rest of the summer so far. )

HOW TO PROCRASTINATE, by grue, age 28

10 cast about something to do on reddit/dw/twitter
20 look up table flipping emoji
30 find table flipping emoji. see: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
40 look up table fixing emoji.
50 find table fixing emoji. see: ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)
60 queue a million HOGs on Steam for binge-play in June.
70 check stony trumps hate tumblr; "like" all auction posts made live since last loading (three hrs ago)
80 open scrivener of any on-going projects with hardened resolve.
90 close scrivener of any on-going projects in abject defeat.
100 GOTO 10
kjata: (now when the purple morn had chas’d away)
The last few days has been fighting through the urge to vomit and mostly failing. What I'm bemused by at the moment is that when I'm so depressed it's like sitting at the bottom of a well in the dead of night with no ladder in sight, I hardly have any migraines at all-- but right now I'm middling in my mood and I might get three or four days a month if I'm lucky where my head doesn't feel like if I look at something the wrong way my eyes will pop out of my skull and brain will leak from my nostrils.

Oh well, that's life. Doing a bit better today, but I spent the entirety of yesterday sleeping off and on, so that probably had something to do with it.

Deleted my everywoman sign-up and told the mods of Stony Trumps Hate to put up two winnable slots on each of my offers. With my head pinging like this, and the June 23rd deadline for everywoman that is apparently in place, I figure I'll have an easier time writing Steve/Tony for charity than freaking over doing justice for a recipient in an exchange. Anyone who bids on my offers in the auction will know what they're getting into beforehand, there's less pressure there.

(Bidding starts on the 21st, btw, and there are a shitload of excellent writers and artists offering their services in exchange for striking a blow against the shit Trump is perpetuating in the world right now, so if you're into Steve/Tony maybe have a look?)

Drinking flat Monster to try for some energy and focus so I can write today. Have a Not Prime Time fic, the Love Trumps Hate fic, and three addtnl chapters of my pinch hit to work on. All those scrivener files are open on the toolbar, staring at me. Mocking meeeeeee. Shit god damn.
kjata: muppets (only time will tell if i'll allow)
12/5/2017 wordcount: 725

My pinch hit goes live tonight, so I'm biting my nails a full twelve hours beforehand ofc. Three more chapters are outlined to tag on after they're fully written, and I guess that is when I'll bother posting the link here. So not immediately after my name is attached to the work-- which is the 20th?-- but some indefinite point in the future when the story is done beyond a clumsy one-shot wrap-up.

And there's going to be a separate story follow-up to that, also, because I can't leave well enough alone. Oh well, I wanted to write original work for MYWYN this year, and though it's a bit late to start I might as well steady on. Though hopefully this story won't take 80k to tell in total. That would be a bit overkill even for me.

Mother is in ER. This is planned, her nephrologist told her if the antibiotics don't make her feel SUPER GREAT BETTER by today then she was to go to the ER where they will find her a bed and hook her up to an IV with a custom-made drug to attack the infection. But still- she's in the ER, and ugh.

At least this is a different hospital than her usual, because the Doctor moved offices and switched where he has privileges, and so far no one has accused her of faking. Which the last ER doctor did after she had been brought in via ambulance during a stroke.

JFC, the medical community in this country. You get some gems, but most of them are assholes looking to victimise the easy marks :/
kjata: supernatural (stone crumbles. wood rots.)
Have no wordcount to report right now, though I am Working On It, but the on-going projects taking up my brainpower is a MCU one-off that I'm writing on a lark and also my Fandom Trumps Hate Kylux fic. And and and an immediate follow-up to the pinch hit that isn't even public yet, ahahahahahaha sob.

(An example of how I brain: saw a headline that said "One Laser is Enough" and my offended response was "how dare you! you can never have too many lasers!" So now in the aforementioned follow-up story there's a waterlogged cyborg ranting about lasers after the MC accuses it of overkill. As you do.)

The last three days have been a total haze, I don't know what happened. It was hot out and the locusts were being assholes in the tree outside my window? I was passed out and thought I was laying on a metal bar but turns out I was causing a huge bruise on my thigh because I was sleeping on my phone? The Gnomish Overlords demanded tribute, and when I had nothing to give they struck me down into the Abyss?

Alan Wake will be 90% off from the 13th through the 15th, at which time it will cease to be sold, period. They have to renew the music licenses, and since Bowie and Depeche Mode are on the soundtrack, that'll.. probably not happen. So if you want the game, better buy it now!
kjata: mcr ((cos) this ain't a room full of suicide)
5/5 to 8/5/2017 wordcount: 2,057
9/5/2017 wordcount: 4,582

Edited, posted to archive, done \o/

There's my NPT fic to get started on, but I'm gonna take a guilt-free day and rest my brain first.

Changed the brightness level on Bioshock so I can see wtf is going on, and whoom, the anxiety is gone and I can play it now. Currently on the Medical Pavilion level, have already saved/rescued one little sister and trying to find the second. I'm playing on easy and finding Medkits everywhere so there's no stress rn.

(Even on easy I'm sure the medkits are not as plentiful later in the game, but I figure I'll be better at the fight mechanics by then and it won't be a travesty.)

I have a backlog of comments and entries to get to, whoops.
kjata: panic! at the disco (it's always worried me)
I signed up for Stony Trumps Hate, and you should too!

I have much more confidence about my ability to blitz through deadlines now than I did years ago, so am trying to sign up for more exchanges, auctions, etc, that won't take over my life or take time away from my personal projects. Tried to sign up for a Pinch Hit last night but boooo, I got there too late ):

electrogastrogram now has four kudos on ao3! That's more feedback than when I had it up for sale! AHAHAHAHHAHA no seriously this is funny. I am so not made to do this self-publishing bit, since I fail so hard at promoting myself. Perhaps I should look into seeing about sending books to agents again? But exhaustion says no.

We'll see who wins this round, exhaustion. The war ain't over yet! *seethes*

My day is basically formatting the rest of hooversuck, finally getting the latest issue of Poe Dameron to read because I hear there is MEAT PASTE (cough cough thank you Lynda cough), and if I have the energy for it, poking at that mostly-done Kylux fic I have open to see if I can get it post-ready. It's been too long, Kylux fandom. I am ready to come back home.
kjata: (hero’s valor acts and birth inspire)
26/4/2017 wordcount: 1,472

IT'S POSTED. My May the 4th fic has been posted, and idk when the reveals are but when my name is attached to it I'll be posting a link here. AHAHAHAHA I'M DONE! DONE!!!!!

My project for the rest of the month is to finish formatting hooversuck so that'll be all posted and done with on ao3 before MYWYN starts. I'll also be poking at various WIPs I've been sitting on to see where I can form a (reasonable) expectation of finishing, but eh, not setting the bar for that terribly high.

Humble Book Bundle: Berkley Breathed Collection. All of Bloom County for $15? Sign! Me! Up!!!

If you haven't read his stuff before, he's one of those cartoonists who used to go after Trump waaaay back in the 80s. And he came out of retirement as soon as Trump got the GOP nomination, so that's uh. One single good thing that came out of that clusterfuck. I guess. Erm...

I haven't read any of his Outland or OPUS strips, so I'm looking forward to getting that downloaded. But yaaaaay, Bloom County!
kjata: monty python and the holy grail (violence inherent in the system!)
24/4/1027 wordcount: 425

I'll be finished tomorrow, will post it to the archive the day after. Thank fuck.

To do something completely different with MYWYN this year, I'm considering writing 1k worth of screenplay or teleplay a day. Not worrying about finishing the scripts, just getting as much down on them as humanly possible for the eighty days. Might wimp out and just work on Star Wars fic like last year, though. We'll see :/

Movie meme that everyone is doing:

A Movie I Love: idk. Birdman? Seven Psychopaths? Snowpiercer? I love movies, those are just some of the recent additions.
An Action Movie I Love: Danny The Dog is very violent and very dramatic and made me cry at the end.
A Drama I Love: The Drop.
A Western I Love: Once Upon a Time in the West. Holy crap that movie.
A Horror Movie I Love: Attack the Block. Oh, and [REC]. And and and There Will Be Blood.
A Comedy I Love: Les Visiteurs or La Cage aux Folles will always tie for that spot.
A Romance Movie I Love: Shaun of the Dead is a romance. No really, it is. He gets the girl and the pub in the end, that totally qualifies.
A Noir I Love: Bladerunner is hella noir and nothing you can say will change my mind.
A Disney Movie I Love: siiiiiigh, I don't really have a favourite. All of them are entertaining, but none are near and dear to me.
A Sci Fi Movie I Love: Ex Machina, because of how subtle it is.
An Animated Movie I Love: I love lots and lots of animated movies, but first that comes to mind is AKIRA, I guess.
A Superhero Movie I Love: The second Burton Batman film. Batman Returns? Is that it?
A War Movie I Love: Does Tropic Thunder count? lol or Starship Troopers?
An Exploitation Movie I Love: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension qualifies, yep.
A Musical I Love: Nightmare Before Christmas, maybe?
An Historical Movie I Love: Amadeus.
A Bad Movie I Love: MANOS: The Hand of Fate, though I honestly and genuinely adore a lot of bad movies, MANOS is just an El Paso production so I gotta be loyal here.
A Childhood Favorite: Labyrinth, oh yes.
A Shakespeare Movie I Love: The Fifteen Minute Hamlet is the only Hamlet worth watching. (FUCK KENNETH BRANAGH'S VERSION, HE FUCKING MUMBLES IN THE GRAVEYARD SCENE.)
A Franchise I Love: Anything by the members of Monty Python is part of the Monty Python Franchise, so sayeth I, and so sayeth I love every single one of them. Yes, even Yellowbeard, despite all its problems.
A Trilogy I Love: the Toy Story trilogy, I guess. The 3rd one made me cry, just like it did for everyone else.
A Guilty Pleasure I Love: Kingsman: The Secret Service. It's so trashy, and yet so so good.
A Movie Recently Seen: Rewatched The Hound of The Baskervilles (1978) this morning. Yay for Pete and Dud.
My Favourite of This Year: Haven't seen any new films yet this year :/
A Favorite of All Time: Terry Gilliam's Brazil. Full stop.
kjata: (vidi in ampulla pendere)
22/4/2017 wordcount: 1,438
23/4/2017 wordcount: 700

All of that on my May the 4th fic, which is currently at 5.6k. It should be done a few days before deadline. Yes, it should. IT REALLY REALLY SHOULD. (Trying to convince myself as much as you, here.)

Starting to figure out what to write for MYWYN, since CampNaNo was such a miserable failure this month. The biopunk novel is dead in the water so I better try something (anything) else or it'll just be more of the same.
kjata: (gesture of orang-outang)
Here’s the thing: I don’t doubt that Wallace is a genius. And it’s not that I believe there’s no value in self-indulgent works by men. It’s just that I’m not very interested in them. These men seem to think I’m saying the thing they love is bad, when really I’m just saying I don’t care about the thing they love.

Men Recommend David Foster Wallace to Me by Deirdre Coyle

I read Infinite Jest maybe ten years ago. It was full of ten-cent words that were clearly there to make the "cultured" critics masturbate furiously in response, a total slog to get through, and I found myself wishing I had picked up anything else to read instead. But the concept was interesting, so of course I finished it :/

You won't be able to pay me to read the rest of his narcissistic claptrap. Kudos to Coyle for managing to keep the bile down long enough to persevere.

Still blankly staring at the 619-word outline on my May the 4th fic. Come ooooonnnnnn, self, get it together and get it done.
kjata: dead like me (god talks to you frequently?)
Still trying to find everyone from LJ; keep being derailed by usernames I recognise from fandoms of my past and seeing if I want to subscribe to their current fic/blog entries. Lotttttts of people are probably wondering who the fuck this rando is, sorry everyone! If it helps any, I don't expect you to follow back, I just want to lurk on your public posts!

After The Great Migration dies down a bit I'll start the process to transfer my entries over here so I don't look like quite the freak. It'll all be set to private, of course, because I made that LJ in 2004 and no one needs to see proof of my great teenage depression. The fact that I still have a handful of friends from that time period is absolutely astonishing to me.

Took the codeine last night and it was such. a. bad. idea! On one hand I discovered that the ubiquitous back pain I got the last time I regularly took codeine wasn't actually from my back being out-- on the other hand, that horrible horrible back pain was from a pill I willingly ingested, holy fuck.

In the future I will stick to the generic excedrin and whimpering in the corner method, because at least that way I know wtf is going on with my body.

Playing Fallout Shelter today and ran through a quest to rescue a kidnapped dog. Get to the dialogue with the Raiders, they demand their Caps and Snacks and Weapons, and I get an option to make a snappy retort. Clearly thinking that this was going to lead to a fight, I chose the option, "We come with the gift of knowledge: you give us the dog and we'll teach you how to write."

Whelp, their answer to that was "Oh cool, we'll be able to write better ransom notes!" and paid out the dog to me. So now I've got to live with the fact that, yes, I rescued a pooch from Raiders, but I also apparently held a Learning Annex course for them so they could learn how to properly express ideas in a narrative, and also how to extort people for money :/
kjata: tales from the borderlands (i've abused my position)
Think I got everyone who is active on DW moved here from LJ. Hallo, hallo, I was hellboy back in the home place but some rotten dirty namesitter got that one back when DW was new apparently so I'm stuck with my original account name-- which, by and by, is a handle I used when I was fifteen and still posting to ff.net. Oh my god. The void has been mentioned, it will now rise up and come for me.

Was thinking of doing some thoughtful, well-articulated post about how I've changed since I last blogged on the regular to commemorate the move, but eh. No one cares, myself least of all.

Spent from Feb 11th to April 4th downloading Bioshock Remastered and oh my god that game is terrifying. It shouldn't be, but the atmosphere and "set design" (so to speak) is very similar to nightmares I flee for my life in on the regular. Went so far as to check up on how the first level goes in a walkthrough so I know what to expect, and I'm still having trouble playing more than ten minutes at a time.

Needless to say, am quite frustrated with myself.

Currently downloading Mass Effect 2, but since I already finished the first one there deffo won't be trouble playing the second. Ha. Time to finally romance Garrus, oh yes.

On fifth attempt to find my focus on CampNaNo project. Brain fatigue is horrible to work through, mainly because it doesn't matter how much I stare at the document, no words come to mind to write. So back I go to Fallout Shelter or whatever, metaphorical tail between my legs, feeling like a failure.

But hey, at least I'm halfway through my May the 4th fic. That one isn't having any issue being written, probably because it's got its own worldbuilding and a relatively close deadline attached.

This new phone keeps whistling at me to get my attention. Gonna file charges for sexual harassment, I am not joking here.
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